You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
