just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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