I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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