my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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