Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
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there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
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But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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