I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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