how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
