I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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