He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize