I'm really into asian looking animals
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
honey bunches of taint.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
