I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
