This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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