He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Randomize
