Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize