Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
This is classic penis vs brain.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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