Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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