I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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