My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
