is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
