I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
