Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
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