Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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