At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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