I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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