you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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