You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
