I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I could fuck to npr.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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