Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
