Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
