this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
