I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
