I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
