Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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