Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
