you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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