She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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