You can't special order awesome
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
