Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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