If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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