its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
