we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
