My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize