Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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