well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
