i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
