Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
