OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
