apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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