I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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