Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
