i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
