if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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