we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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