careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
