Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
