Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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