I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
