OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
