kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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