3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
