We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
