He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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