Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
