East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize