AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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