Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
