Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just had sex on a roof
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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