Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
