Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
